Ryan Jeffreys' Story of Suicidal Schizophrenia




RYAN JEFFREYS' STORY

I was raised in Long Island, NY. I was a relatively active kid, and I had difficulty sitting still in school—I was bored and did much better with hands—on learning. When I was in my early teens, I started to hear a voice giving me commands. I was convinced God was talking to me. For example, God told me to go to Florida and start a civil rights movement, so I took my father’s credit card and flew to Florida, where I was arrested for inciting to riot and disturbing the peace.

 

I had several other episodes and wound up taking a lot of different trips in those years. I once tried to ride my bicycle to Washington, DC, to speak to the President, but I was picked up in Maryland.

 

On a subsequent attempt to visit and speak with the President I was picked up by the New York City Police and refused to tell them my name, because I was told by God if they knew who I was they would kill me. I had not committed any crime and they knew I was delusional so I was sent to Bellevue Hospital. I remained there for 10 days.

 

At 13, I had auditory hallucinations telling me to kill myself, so I overdosed on pills. At the local hospital it was decided for my safety I should be sent to long-term care. I was committed to a State hospital, where I was kept for 9 months. I was given a diagnosis of schizophrenia and put on several different kinds of medication. I also received electroconvulsive therapy and hydrotherapy.

 

At that time, the medicines of choice were Thorazine, Stellizine, and Mellarile. The side effects of those medications were so horrible that I never stayed on the medications very long. I found the best alternative was “self-medicating” by abusing alcohol and drugs, which I did starting at age 14.




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