Marco Baldini's Story of Recovery from Schizophrenia




MARCO BALDINI'S STORY

An interesting note about the stigma of mental illness and the legal profession at the time. My psychiatrist had to write a letter for me to the Dean of the law school in order for me to postpone my exams. He decided not to write the word "schizophrenia" as my illness but rather said I suffered from "emotional illness". My doctor said that if the Law Society should one day find out I had schizophrenia, I would be disqualified from practicing law. However, the strategy almost backfired when the Dean at first would not postpone my exams because an emotional illness was not serious enough, he thought. Eventually, I did get my exams deferred and was able to write them later as I said.

 

Over the course of the next several months to several years my medication levels were reduced allowing me greater freedom from the horrible side-effects. As I practiced studying my academic skills returned to a point where I was able to pass my exams, although now I was at the bottom of my class instead of at the top.

 

The following year I was placed on an antidepressant medication to assist me in functioning a little bit better. It didn't seem to help that much and I just learned to live with the depression and the lack of motivation associated with the illness. Another of the side-effects of the medication for me was gaining weight. Within six months from first starting the treatment I had gained about 40 or 50 pounds. This only added to my depression and my poor self-esteem.

 

Over the next few years I got progressively better and was able to finish law school, find an articling position and become a practicing lawyer. However, I found that I had trouble competing with my peers, my stamina and motivation levels were quite low. I still had trouble interacting with others in relationships and tended to be more withdrawn than I had been before my illness.

 

After about three years of being treated with medications my doctor decided to take me off all of them to see if I could function without them. I did very well for a number of years after that. I opened a law practice, I got married and moved into a new house. I certainly did not miss the side-effects of the haloperidol.

 

I now had a greater range of emotions. My weight dropped to normal and I needed only 8 or 9 hours per night of sleep instead of the usual 12 or more that I was getting while on medications. I lived a relatively normal and fulfilling life for the next five years while off all medications. I did not have any symptoms of my illness during this period.

 

Unfortunately, in 1986 I had a sudden relapse in my illness. I became acutely psychotic while mountain climbing alone in a wilderness park here in British Columbia. Fortunately, I was able to return home without assistance from anyone. It was during this psychosis, however, that I believed aliens from outer space were communicating with me and that a fire was started in my house that set the house on fire and caused me to end up in court as a result. Within a few days of the fire I had signed myself into the local psychiatric hospital and was again placed on large doses of antipsychotic medication.

 

I spent two months in hospital this time and upon discharge it was very difficult for me to function again.




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