sCHIZoPHReNIa diARiES
TRUE STORIES BY REAL SCHIZOPHRENICS
Larry's Story of Cannabis Induced Schizophrenia
LARRY'S STORY
In 2000, he finally admitted to us that his use of cannabis and ecstasy had triggered a deep depression -- ironically the very thing he had been battling all along. I said I'd do all I could to help him. At my request, Larry went to see our family GP and was prescribed an antidepressant. For a few months I hoped Larry might be getting better, but then in early 2001 I made a horrifying discovery. Larry had been ordering prescription-only medications over the Internet and using them in combination with cannabis and ecstasy.
Later I found out from the local pharmacist that hundreds, if not thousands, of unsolicited e-mails offering on-line drugs are sent to Internet users all over the world every day.
He didn't even attempt to deny what he had been doing, but broke down, telling me over and over how sorry he was, and repeating: "I'm evil, you don't really know me, Mum." When I asked about the prescription drugs, he told me Valium was used to soften the come-down after taking ecstasy. I was appalled and, as any parent would be, dreadfully frightened that my son's life was out of control. I kept thinking: "If only he had never started smoking cannabis, none of this would be happening."
It seemed so obvious that it had led him on to more serious drugs. From then on, I was constantly trying to prevent Larry's access to drugs. Sometimes I would go through his room and get rid of them. On one occasion I threw away as many as 200 Valium tablets. After confiding in both my local pharmacist and our GP, I started handing any drugs I found to them. I couldn't understand how it could be possible young, vulnerable people could obtain prescription-only drugs online. Surely it was illegal?
I was beside myself with worry and stress, and made sure I had the chance to intercept the mail before Larry got it.
Looking back, I wonder how I managed to stay sane.
Partly as a result of my increasing stress about Larry, as well as the fact that I was also caring for my elderly mother, my husband Graham and I separated in May 2001. We remained loving friends, but simply had no reserves of energy left to put into our own relationship.
Larry continued to live with his father while Ros came with me. I noticed that Larry did not show any emotion at this time, either over our separation, or my mother's death shortly afterwards. During the following year, Larry continued to be very unstable. I knew he was still experimenting with drugs obtained over the Internet, and he admitted that he was still using cannabis "occasionally".
Yet all the time he claimed not to be doing this for thrills, but simply to feel better about himself. I asked him what we could do to help. He decided he wanted to live on his own and rented a unit close to his father and me. But he continued to act in a very frightening way.
In June 2002, he came to my house in a highly disturbed and paranoid state. Terrified, I took him to the local hospital, where he was eventually seen by the duty psychiatrist. An out-patient appointment was made for a few weeks later.
