James Caldwell's 2 year Diary of Getting Stabilized




JAMES CALDWELL'S STORY

August 28 04

1:30PM; I just finished my morning rituals of good fortune. I hope to have a good day with god in my heart.

 

August 29 04

2PM; I’m feeling a little schizo today. I’m not sure if people are talking to me or not. It’s confusing I’m also feeling down. I slept 14 hours last night and am still tired.

 

August 30 04

1PM; I slept 14 hours last night. I’m feeling slightly depressed. Last night I ate an enormous amount of popcorn during a lousy movie.

9PM; I’m feeling down and apathetic. I think that I will just go to bed and watch T.V.

10PM; My ears are ringing. I don’t know why. Watching TV is impossible.

 

September 01 04

7PM; I am trying to concentrate and am having been this way all day. I am going to take it easy and kick back and try to let the coffee work.

 

September 02 04

11:30AM; I am bright awake since 7:30AM this morning. I have no indicators of hallucinatory action.

1PM; I have been on the “upside” of normal all day long. Right now, I feel almost manic.

 

September 03 04

4PM; Today has been fantastic. I feel real good after sleeping till 12:30PM

 

September 04 04

1PM; Everyone except me went to West Side Market.

3:30PM; Everyone came back from WSM I’m feeling a little apathetic right now.

5PM; That cup of coffee has given me a lot of energy. I feel like going out and doing something. What can I do? The answer is an evasive thought.

 

September 05 04

6PM; I watched Brandon and Kevins ’ hockey game in which they beat the other team 5-1. Now I’m very anxious because of the potent coffee I had during the game. This is precisely why I prefer to drink instant more than brewed coffee. Less caffeine.

10PM; I am becoming less and less tolerable of having to say “NOW” to Buddy to get him to get up. I’m never having this much caffeine again!

 

September 06 04

12PM; I just woke up and feel lousy. Last night’s sleep was nonexistent. I had to keep going up and down the stairs. Only audible hallucinations were present and they were confusing me. It was like every outlet in the house was connected to my head (brain).

4:30PM I’ve come down and am feeling somewhat depressed.

 

September 07 04

4PM; I am feeling sort of edgy right now. I am going to take it easy today.

 

September 08 04

6PM; I’m out of control of my agitation, depression, and hallucinations. I fucking want relief now!!!

10PM; I took an extra Haloperidol and Clonazepam feeling much better.

 

September 09 04

8AM; Dr. Anders just called and made changes to my medicine. He raised the Haldol to 3 10mg a day and he raised the Welbutrin to 300mg a day.

7PM; Jonie just cut my hair. Maybe now I’ll stop pulling it out. I’ve had trichotolomania since I was 2 years old.

 

September 11 04

11AM; Roger called me and told me that he’d passed his written part of his driver’s permit. Boy.

2PM; I’m somewhat apprehensive about today. I have that feeling that somethings wrong with everything. It’s that sinking feeling you get in your gut that says your Doomed.

 

September 12 04

1PM; I feel better, except for my sinus infection. It makes my face hurt and my body sweaty.

4PM; Today has been a good day for me. I’m really back with it. No hallucinations. No anxiety or depression evident.




Previous Page    Next Page