James Caldwell's 2 year Diary of Getting Stabilized




JAMES CALDWELL'S STORY

Mar 04 04

1AM; I am not thinking too well. Buddy my dog is giving me a lecture about hygiene, so I went to take a shower. The shower was filled with rats. I didn’t feel like taking one anymore.

10:30PM; I have finally stopped hallucinating. I hope that this is not temporary. I will just have to see as time goes by.

 

Mar 05 04

10PM; No hallucinations, no anxiety, good uneventful day.

 

Mar 14 04

I have not had many symptoms or troubles for the last 10 days, so I did not have any journal entries.

11PM; Today was a difficult day. Relatives and inlaws were here. At dinner time it was unbearable. All the people were talking at once. I ate a few pieces of corned-beef, then left for my room. I haven’t been out of my room since. Now, I am stressed out. I’m hearing voices and having severe anxiety. I am going to lay in bed and practice relaxation breathing.

 

Mar 15 04

11PM; I slept all day. It must have been the 2 cups of coffee I had this morning. Now I just wonder whether or not I will sleep tonight.

 

Mar 16 04

10PM; I was sleepy all day. Coffee didn’t help. It only brought on anxiety. At least I will sleep tonight.

 

Mar 17 04

2PM; I saw Dr. Anders today. He said that I was doing well due to BCAAs. My Artane was reduced to 3x day. He also said that I should take Melatonin 30 min before bedtime.

 

Mar 18 04

1PM; Dr. Charles called and said he made a mistake on my appt. that he wanted to see me tomorrow.

 

Mar 19 04

2PM; I went to Dr. Charles office and we spent an hour talking about being a father.

 

Mar 20 04

6PM; Saw Kevin and Brandon play hockey against an older team.

 

Mar 24 04

2:30PM; I just awake with a bad headache.

1PM; Gma Caldwell is dying so everyone was over for a drink with Dad.

 

Mar 25 04

11PM; We finally decided to put Gma into a nursing home. This realization was distressing to Mom, Dad, and me, but not as much as it would be if we would have to continue taking care of her at home.

 

Mar 26 04

1:30AM; Gma Caldwell just died. I gave Dad a Hug.

 

June 19 04

2:30PM; I’ve been having hallucinations for 7 days now. Right now I am hearing voices and seeing flashes of light.

10:17PM; Someday I’d like have a normal life: You know job, wife, Roger and a truck. It gets pretty fukin boring watching things breath that have no lungs




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