James Caldwell's 2 year Diary of Getting Stabilized




WHO IS JAMES CALDWELL?

He is a former graduate student in counseling Psychology. Schizophrenia put an end to his aspirations and career in counseling.

Name: James Caldwell
Age: 41

Education: Graduate Level at Akron University

Achievements: Eagle Scout at Age 15, 3 Powerlifting Gold Medals at the Pan Am Games 1984

Medical History: 24 years of Schizophrenia, First Schizophrenic Episode on Birthday age 17, No success until April 2005 with new medicine: Geodon made by Pfizer.

Current Meds Being Taken: Geodon 80mg 2x/day, Klonopin 1mg 4x/day, Abilify 30mg 2x/day, Lamictal 100mg bedtime, Effexor SR 300mg AM, Welbutrin SR 300mg AM


JAMES CALDWELL'S STORY

Oct 27 03

1:00 PM; I find myself waking from a myriad of dreams. The one I remember most is my mom telling me to take Pepsid complete for my nagging ulcer. My ulcer; however, is not bothering me at this time. Waking up from a dream is somewhat like coming out of a hallucinatory state. My main concern, at this time, is to remedy the situation about use of the computer between my parents and my son. I want to be fair with both parties.

2:45PM; I am getting ready to talk to Roger about computer use times. Roger just came home and I'm going to tell him that 11:00pm is the new cut off time.

10:00PM; I've had an unusually late meal so I must wait until 11 to take my medicine; I think i'll just lay down and rest until 11.

 

Oct 28 03

2:00 AM; I am hallucinating. I am hearing voices and am in the gym lifting weights when the news people are doing an action story on steroid use among weight lifters. I left my sandwhich and medicine in the hallway outside the gym. To my surprise the news people are examining my lunch bag and photographing the contents. I put my lunch bag next to Arnold's. Apparently he switched bags and put his steroids in my bag and put my lunch and medicine in his. I told the news reporters that they should go back into the gym and ask Arnold whose bag was what. I knew he was going to tell the truth and remove any guilt from me. But boy was I ever afraid. Arnold told the reporters that he had switched bags because mine was bigger.

2:20AM; I managed to make it to my desk and checked my medicine cartridge for my bedtime dose. I immediately saw that I had missed my last dose. Hence, I took my medicine with a can of pop.

2:45AM; I'm still having hallucinations, so I went down to wake my mother to ask her to sit with me and talk to me until the anti pyschotics took effect. Mom mad some chamomile tea to relax my fiery nerves. We talked until 3:30am by this time the medicine made me come off this trip. I had smoked 4 cigarettes during this time because I was so absolutely terrified. Next, I went to my room and fell back to sleep.

6:50AM; I woke up a bundled of frayed nerves. I took my morning dose of medicine and began to gradually feel better.

3:00PM; I'm still feeling washed out. I feel anxiety and depressed. It's a general feeling of apathy. I'm going to probably take a nap, for I can't concentrate about anything right now.

9:00PM; I ate dinner on time and took my medicine.

 

Oct 29 03

2:00PM; I just got out of bed and took a shower. I could just stay in bed all day, for I'm full of anxiety and am having the shakes and sweats of my Clonazepam reduction from 4mg to 3mg per day. The anxiety is almost unbearable. Therefore, I'm going to spend some time petting my dog, Buddy. I think every Schizophrenic should have a dog, for they help anchor one to reality, when no person is around to help. Since I am alone in the house, Buddy is truly my best friend.

4:00PM; The anxiety has gone too far so I am going to take another Clonazepam.

5:00PM; I am now feeling much better. It's amazing how 1mg could help so much. I am now going over my son's Physical Science notes and trying to help him understand his studies. I think that he will get at least a B on tomorrow's quiz.

6:00PM; My anxiety is completely gone, and I am able to focus outside of myself. I am going out side to have a cigarette and interact with my family over dinner.




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