Greg Patterson's Story of his Trip & Secret Society




GREG PATTERSON'S STORY

Part II -The secret society:

 

My hospital stay gave me quite a bit of time for thinking. Boredom controlled me and my paranoid thoughts gave birth. This boredom (sitting looking at a wall all day) became a method of slow torture. I was determined to get out of the hospital at any cost. Therefore, while my delusions were getting worse, I was denying them to everyone. I became much more introverted and started to depend only on myself.

 

Because of the insane amount of time I had on my hands, my delusions grew. I started looking for clues about the trip and why I failed it. I began to think people spoke in riddles. They weren’t allowed to tell me the truth but they could hint at it. That was the law. For you see this group had laws. This opened up more ideas, the thought that an organization lived. I searched for theses hidden messages in every word and phrase. Hoping to find answers to all these questions I had. I would twist words around and around and find new meanings. I became convinced these people were not real doctors or nurses.

 

I started hearing voices. The voices were misinterpretations of what people were saying. In the hospital there is a lot of noise in the background. The voices I heard varied from every subject, but most importantly it mirrored what I was thinking. For example if I was pondering about death someone would say “you’re going to hell”. This gave birth to the idea of mind reading.

 

Mind reading crippled me. I became very paranoid of everyone, thinking they judged everything I thought or did. And getting judged by every comment can get very frustrating and angering. Because of the intense attention through my delusions, I began to feel really burnout.

 

I thought this organization had big plans for me since I was getting so much feedback. I began to think they weren’t just an organization but a secret society. And I was going through initiation period.

 

Eventually, I was released from the hospital with anti-psychotic medications… They did nothing for me other than provide me with panic attacks when I took them.




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