sCHIZoPHReNIa diARiES
TRUE STORIES BY REAL SCHIZOPHRENICS
Donald Evans Commitment to Recovery
DONALD EVAN'S STORY
I was put on outpatient commitment because of an incident that happened about a year after getting schizophrenia. I experienced an auditory command hallucination that told me to get a gun and kill myself. However, I shot myself in the chest and didn't die.
It was at this point that I was sent before the county probate judge and was ordered into treatment (outpatient civil commitment). The judge required me to attend day treatment on a daily basis and take medication regularly. The judge offered to help me obtain a lawyer/advocate that would help me follow through with the outpatient commitment plan and help me report progress back to the judge.
The day I first went to see the judge, I was nearly a vegetable from the illness. I hadn't been participating regularly in treatment, including taking medication. I could barely function. At the first review in front of the judge a year later, when the lawyer saw me, she told me that I looked a lot better. I continued to get better over the next few years. After about five years, I think, I was participating in treatment so regularly that the outpatient commitment order was discontinued.
Almost all the time I got sick I ended up in the state hospital, but there was one time I remember where I ended up in jail. A voice commanded me to go to a part of Atlanta to look for Dorothy Stratten, and I was arrested for criminal trespassing at a hotel. Instead of taking me to the hospital, they took me to the county jail, where I was beat up twice by other inmates and taken advantage of.
The outpatient commitment order helped me a lot. It prevented me from getting into trouble and got me on a regular schedule. I knew I had to take medication and become involved in some type of daily activity to deal with the voices and paranoia.
Since I've been on Clozaril and the other medications, I've been able to work part-time and attend day treatment. I've worked at a restaurant now for about six months, which is about the longest time I've held a job. The voices don't tell me what to do anymore. I ignore them and tell them to go to hell and leave me alone, especially if they're bad voices.
